there's paper in my vomit.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
