I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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