Christians are straight up FREAKS
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
