I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
