i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
They took my balls.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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