Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
