Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
