Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
