I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
