Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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