I'm jealous of your bromance
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
