i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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