I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
