Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize