u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
