Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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