you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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