Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize