Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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