I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
