You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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