I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
