She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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