An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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