Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
