they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize