If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
