I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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