The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
