At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Walk of Shame today included voting.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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