Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
