dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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