don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
