Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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