I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
