so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize