My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
