white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
