sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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