jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
