Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
