he thought i was a dude.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
