Me too!
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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