Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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