just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
