sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
