The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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