shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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