There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
