I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
