I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you traded sex for a burrito?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
