we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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