Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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