you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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