the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
