the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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