There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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