Fine. I'll sleep in my office
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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