but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
and you fell through a lawn chair
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
