I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
