And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
