i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
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