So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
