Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
God, I missed his penis.
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