There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I pour the whiskey from now on
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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