i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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