What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
