If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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