I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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