Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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