How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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