I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
