You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
should my penis look like a turkey
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
