I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
